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Posted

yah, originally it was a frenchman and a newphie ... but i didn't know if you guys down south would know what a newphie was. newphies are classed as canadas "dumb" guys, but really not so, they just talk fast and furious... good folk. oh, and in the joke, the newphie let the frenchman have the moose... LOL

Posted

a newphie and edgar allan poe died at the same time and were met by st. peter at the pearly gates. st. peter told them he had good news and bad news. bad news was only one could enter because there was only space for one, but good news was that they could compete to see who got in. st. peter said i want you two to think of a short poem, but the ending must finish with timbuktu. a few minutes went by in order for the two to collect their thoughts and st. peter said to edgar, since you're the famous poet, i will let you go first. edgar started ... 'over across a dessert sky, two camels passing through, looking for a paridise, a place called timbuktu'. wow said st. peter, that was really well done, i think you are in! st. peter turned to the newphie and said, ok, you're turn. the newphie replied, 'a fishin' tim and i went, looking for three girls in a tent, after we got them in the mood, i bucked one, and tim bucked two' ...

Posted

an irish guy, italian guy and 2 black guys went to heaven and was stopped by St. Peters at the pearly gates. St Peters said in order to let you in, you guys have to become an emotion. They all looked at each other and went on their ways. They all returned a few hours later. The irishman dressed up in everything green. He said I am green with envy! He was let in. The italian guy was laughing and painted his face pink. He said Ima tickled pinka (every italian guy has an accent in jokes). He was let in. The two black guys returned. One was dressed like a pear and the other one had his d*ck in a custard pie. St. Peters was very puzzled, rolled his eyes and asked, OK guys what are you. The one black guy said Im f*cking disgusted and hes in dispair.

Posted

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full

swing.. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was

telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this

stage of the pregnancy.

The female instructor said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.

Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will

make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft

surface like grass or a path."

She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this

together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while

we walk?"

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